Today is 8th may,2015. It is 8:05 pm. It is my best friend's wedding. O my God; she should be all ready by now and i know that damsel would be killing everyone around with her beauty.
All ducked up in her pretty red lehnga ; sitting there in her room waiting for her prince charming. And the redness on her cheeks right now is not because of that rouge but because she turns completely pink when she is shy. And as her best friend i can tell you ; she looks the cutest in that moment.
I am sitting at a distance of 7hrs from all that cuteness writing this b**&@$* blog. Normally people miss weddings cause they are sitting in bangalore or london or are married , having kids. What was my excuse? I have exams. It is true but it is not all of it. I am having this exam phase for the past 3yrs so it is not new to me. What changed is that this phase has made me a coward ( or may be just revealed the coward in me) . I don't have the courage to go out there and laugh. ( Not that i don't want to but because i think i don't have the right to). I could'nt gather the courage of being surrounded by people who have a life.
Till yesterday i was adjusted to this cowardice. It seemed normal as a way of life. But then something happened. Yesterday evening she sent me a pic of her Mehndi. And suddenly i missed being there for her.The night before the wedding when she had to do her last single talks and i had to give my best efforts to make sure her mehndi turns dark. I had lost that night.
Seeing that picture i realized what great moments i lost. So I gathered myself and made plans to go to the wedding . Desperate measures to save whatever moments i can. I don't have her address. So i tried calling her. No contact number is working. I tried leaving a message but she was busy so could not reply and to top it all the only common friend i could contact did not reply on time.( cowards like to blame situation and people). Guess GOD has his ways to punish cowardice.
So as the night went by and i kept on thinking that something would happen by itself but it did not. By 5:00 am the little spark left in me died and i surrendered . And yes this is not the first time i Betrayed a besti on her D'day. 13 november 2013 another of my best friend was getting married in Delhi. And where was I ?? Oh you guessed it right. DELHI. And still i did not attend. But that time i was a step ahead. I had blocked all my numbers that she had; a month before so she could not contact. I never gave her the chance to even tell me that " Manpreet i am getting married."
Why all of a sudden all these emotions came up?? It is because of this.
Just in one moment i realized i will miss not being by your side, not being able to tease you or jiju, not being able to tell you how beautiful you are looking, not being able to dance with you, not being able to gift you a bottle of scotch ( for u know what), not being able to take selfies,not being able to dress up the best at your wedding; so good so that you had to say ," Manpreet meri shadi hai teri nai." but most importantly NOT BEING THERE FOR YOU. For all of you.
For the ones i missed and the ones i know i will miss. Giving all of you the same excuse. Do i regret it? I don't know. Am i a bad besti ? It is on you all to decide.
But if anyone could make me cry over it is you Gunjan (Bala). It should be about time for your jaimala, your bhabhi must have measured jiju with her sari and i am sitting here imagining what CHAND jiju would say for his saalis . Knowing very well that i won't be hearing it with my own ears. Finally Miss Dilphenk is surrendering her heart to her One and Only and i am not there to witness.
All ducked up in her pretty red lehnga ; sitting there in her room waiting for her prince charming. And the redness on her cheeks right now is not because of that rouge but because she turns completely pink when she is shy. And as her best friend i can tell you ; she looks the cutest in that moment.
I am sitting at a distance of 7hrs from all that cuteness writing this b**&@$* blog. Normally people miss weddings cause they are sitting in bangalore or london or are married , having kids. What was my excuse? I have exams. It is true but it is not all of it. I am having this exam phase for the past 3yrs so it is not new to me. What changed is that this phase has made me a coward ( or may be just revealed the coward in me) . I don't have the courage to go out there and laugh. ( Not that i don't want to but because i think i don't have the right to). I could'nt gather the courage of being surrounded by people who have a life.
Till yesterday i was adjusted to this cowardice. It seemed normal as a way of life. But then something happened. Yesterday evening she sent me a pic of her Mehndi. And suddenly i missed being there for her.The night before the wedding when she had to do her last single talks and i had to give my best efforts to make sure her mehndi turns dark. I had lost that night.
Seeing that picture i realized what great moments i lost. So I gathered myself and made plans to go to the wedding . Desperate measures to save whatever moments i can. I don't have her address. So i tried calling her. No contact number is working. I tried leaving a message but she was busy so could not reply and to top it all the only common friend i could contact did not reply on time.( cowards like to blame situation and people). Guess GOD has his ways to punish cowardice.
So as the night went by and i kept on thinking that something would happen by itself but it did not. By 5:00 am the little spark left in me died and i surrendered . And yes this is not the first time i Betrayed a besti on her D'day. 13 november 2013 another of my best friend was getting married in Delhi. And where was I ?? Oh you guessed it right. DELHI. And still i did not attend. But that time i was a step ahead. I had blocked all my numbers that she had; a month before so she could not contact. I never gave her the chance to even tell me that " Manpreet i am getting married."
Why all of a sudden all these emotions came up?? It is because of this.
 |
| I am sorry i uploaded it without your permission |
Just in one moment i realized i will miss not being by your side, not being able to tease you or jiju, not being able to tell you how beautiful you are looking, not being able to dance with you, not being able to gift you a bottle of scotch ( for u know what), not being able to take selfies,not being able to dress up the best at your wedding; so good so that you had to say ," Manpreet meri shadi hai teri nai." but most importantly NOT BEING THERE FOR YOU. For all of you.
For the ones i missed and the ones i know i will miss. Giving all of you the same excuse. Do i regret it? I don't know. Am i a bad besti ? It is on you all to decide.
But if anyone could make me cry over it is you Gunjan (Bala). It should be about time for your jaimala, your bhabhi must have measured jiju with her sari and i am sitting here imagining what CHAND jiju would say for his saalis . Knowing very well that i won't be hearing it with my own ears. Finally Miss Dilphenk is surrendering her heart to her One and Only and i am not there to witness.
